update on me

Hi all, I don't think Kevin has had the chance to call everyone, so I thought I would post what has happened. On Monday morning at 3:00 AM I got up to take some pain medicine and I always have some flem in my throat, so i spit into the sink and noticed some blood. I immediatly got Kevin up and and he tried different things and he also saw that it was coming from a whole the size of a que tip head. So we went and on the way it slowed way down. We got into the ER and I don't know if it was me moving around but it started bleeding a ton. I was constantly spitting blood. On the way to the hospital, Kevin was talking to me and when I went downstairs to rinse my mouth, He usually falls back asleep, he told me that he just layed there and prayed, I could tell he was worried. Well, they didn't have aroom and wow, I haven't seen Kevin pull rank and use his clout EVER! He said that I was a post op bleed and I need a room NOW! The nurses thought I was fine, so he called Dr. Krenning, the woman who did my surgery. She immediatly ran in and said to get me in a room STAT! Well, I have never had people move around me so fast in all my life. JudyAnn (the doc) got there and then all hell broke lose. She asked for sucktion and I thought I would die, she suctioned way back into my throat and it made me gag hundreds of times, but she pulled the rest of the scab off and then noticed another bleed further down my throat, so she kept suctioning, can i say OWWWWW! WELL THEN she made me gargel with cups and cups of ice cold water to try and stop the bleed, can I say another OWWWW! All the while suctioning after each spit. She couldn't get thebleeding to stop and by this time I kind a lost it. My blood preasure dropped to 80/50 and I felt very faint and kinda lost my surroundings. All I remember is her suctioning and it hurting so bad I was screaming, and Kevin pushing on the back on my head because I was pulling away. There were about 4 nurses running around getting more ice water. She then used um..... Oh i don't know what it's called, but to cauterize the bleeding, can I say another huge OWWWWWW!!!!! She called in the OR staff STAT because she couldn't get the bleeding to stop. I don't know how long the time was, but she finally got the bleeding stopped and i didn't need surgery. Finally I sorta came back around and they were trying to get an IV in me, but since I haven't eaten or drunk in 11 days it took 4 times to find a vain that wouldn't blow. I remember falling asleep finally and they took me up to a room to watch for till noon. I slept all day and came home and slept when I came home. I have never been so weak and tired. That night Kevin gave me a blessing and in the blessing he said that my children would be OK during this time of crisis and they would be blessed for their obidience. He blessed me that it would take longer than usual, but that I would make a full recovery. I have NEVER just felt so much peace after a blessing. Well the next morning we had to take mom to the airport and I woke up feeling, literally 100% better than I did. i think getting rid of those scabs helped so I could swallow easier.

The other bad thing that happened is that when I went into surgery, they said i needed an awake intibation. I was furious! But I guess in the records, they said I was very hard to intibate and the almost lost me, so he wouldn't do anything but an awake intibation. They said they would give me plenty or versaid and other drugs. Well, all I know is that it didn't work, I remember EVERYTHING, every conversation, I remember Dr. Knox telling Cindy to pull back out and go back in. Then when they did get it I remember thinking that I would die because I couldn't breathe. I remember taking Kevin's hand and squeezing, hopeing he would know that I knew exactly what happened. I told Dr. Krenning afterword, and oh, boy I have never seen a Doctor get so angry EVERY. Boy she had some words with Anesthesia. I WILL NEVER HAVE SURGERY AGAIN! if I have to do the fiberoptic intibation. That was the most horrific thing I have ever been through.

Soooo, all in all it has been the worst experience in my life, and one I hope to never repeat. Thank you for all your prayers and calls. I love you all so much!